Would you like to be more effective in your life or work?In control of the choices you make around food & exercise?
How would it feel to really connect with your friends and family?
An important factor in being effective, making conscious choices & having joyful relationships is being totally present in the present - or Mindfulness.
Take a look at this elephant. He's totally focused. That ball is the center of his attention. No computer, worries, no distractions.
Now think about the last phone conversation you had. Were you totally focused or were you surfing the internet or busy thinking about other things? Be aware that if you were multi-tasking, the person on the other end of the line felt it.
Multi-tasking appears to be a national past time. If we're not physically doing 2 things at once, then we're busy with our future worries or past regrets while accomplishing the tasks at hand.
Planning for the future & studying the past are important activities, but the present moment is truly the only time we have. Spending this present moment ruminating over the past or fretting about the future robs us of our present. Multi-tasking in both action & thought diminishes effectiveness, drains energy & leaves our friends & family feeling unimportant & disconnected. When we are mindfully present, our effectiveness skyrockets, our relationships dramatically improve & we are filled with energy & joy.
Easier said than done, you say...I agree!
Most of us aren't monks living in a controlled environment with years of training on how to focus. Instead, we live busy lives, surrounded by sights, sounds, thoughts & other distractions.
We may tell ourselves to focus, but drift off into multi-tasking or distracted thinking time after time.
Paying attention is difficult in our society. Difficult, but not impossible! Mindfulness doesn't come from years of meditation...you can't even begin to pray or meditate until you can focus on the present moment & eliminate distractions.
Mindfulness is a skill, like any other & can be practiced:
First, remember what mindfulness feels like -
- Take a moment & remember a time when you felt the most present...Was it your wedding day? The birth of your child? A tragedy? A great book? Climbing a tree? Bounding a ball?
- Isn't that memory vivid? What brought you to the point of such mindful focus?
- Is there an aspect of your life that could benefit greatly from your mindful attention? Your spouse? Your child? Your eating? Pick one & only one for now.
- What would it look like if you were fully present doing this?
- How would you benefit?
- Pick a word, a sight, a sound, or an action that will help you remember to stop & focus on the one important thing
- Each time you want to focus on your chosen activity/person, use your reminder
- If you find yourself distracted, use your reminder
When you master mindfulness in this area, pick another. Soon, you will be living your life, not just spending time - there will still be distractions - you will not be perfect (remember, perfect people are annoying!). But, you will be more present for the great every day moments!
Go, practice mindfulness today!
Kim
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